Holidays and the LDR



With the holiday season fast upon us, I’ve been hearing from friends who are in LDR and mostly-LDR relationships who are having a fair bit of anxiety. Family pressures, work pressures, up to your neck in relatives and food and (far too often) the kind of stress that only a room full of dysfunctional family can bring. “I’m so worried and anxious about how we’ll keep the connection between now and New Years!” OK, so, a quick n dirty list from my experience:

The Dominant should “preload” their submissive with a bare-bones set of daily tasks and rituals that are feasible within the constraints of their situation. Perhaps an instruction to have an orgasm in the shower; perhaps a comforting devotional mantra to repeat inside their head at bedtime to help them fall asleep; if the submissive has a discreet day collar necklace, perhaps an instruction to discreetly squeeze it when the stress gets bad to remind them they are owned and cherished.

The Dominant should put their submissive on “low protocol” if protocol is a part of their dynamic. They’ll have to be on low protocol by force of circumstances anyway, but there is power and comfort in formally telling them that they are on low protocol. It is soothing because when the submissive is unable to communicate etc, they feel safe knowing that their Dominant has mandated it.

You won’t be able to communicate often or at length, but make those few communications count. Even something as simple as “You are in my thoughts” once a day can have a powerful effect, letting the other person know “I am still here, and I am still yours.”

Remind yourself that the holidays are always fraught with stress, but that the two of you will come out the other side stronger, more connected, and more loving for having gotten through them. 


My Sir @reddi-whip is so very helpful to me during this time of year. Even when he has to be busy with other obligations and commitment, I know he is there for me. I am always in his pocket and just a text away from him.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s