Accepting your body isn’t always just about appearance, it’s sometimes about how it functions and feels… A few people on Tumblr know I health issues but no one knows the extent. I don’t want to go into my laundry list of diseases, syndromes, and conditions, but I am unable to work, I haven’t had a pain free day in nearly 10 years, and I don’t have the strength to walk around in large places or for very long at a time. So this is my view of the world as we do our Xmas shopping… My illnesses are more or less invisible – unless you see me on a day when I’m limping and I have hand tremors. Or when my brain isn’t working and I’m having trouble forming complete sentences and remembering things. Or when I’m being pushed in my damned wheelchair. So when people are staring (and people *always* stare), is it because they think I’m attractive, do they think they know me, or are they trying to figure out what’s wrong with me? It’s usually the latter.
Tumblr has done so much for me, my confidence, and body acceptance. No one here was staring at my disabilities. No one was looking at me funny for pulling into the handicap parking place. No one talked about me after I left the room, discussing my jumbling up my words. No one told me “What a shame” it was because I’m too young/pretty/nice to be sick. [Side note: Does that mean if they thought I wasn’t one of those things, would I deserve my illness?] I don’t have much if a social life. It’s difficult to make plans when you never know how you’re going to feel. I also can’t drink alcohol or stay out very late! In so many ways, Tumblr was my social life, even if it’s a fantasy of one. I know I can take this to other platforms, but it just won’t be the same. (Also, I sometimes have trouble learning new things -ugh).
I thought about submitting this anonymously because I want my blog to be
just for fun. A break away from life. A world where my health doesn’t
matter. But this world is ending, and at the end of it all… I don’t
know… I guess I’m feeling if I can’t be open about this part if me,
then I’m not being accepting of myself, my whole self. Even the sick
part of me is part of the goddess in me, though I’m still working on
accepting that. I hope that everyone of you has come to accept and
appreciate yourselves, even the parts if yourselves that don’t function
as they should.
I would like to thank @titsgoddess for providing this
day for all the goddesses of Tumblr. ❤ You’ve provided more comfort and
support than you could possibly know. I wish nothing but the best for
all of you! I hope to see you on other platforms soon!
everyone and fuck you Tumblr!
Oh @tessasmaster, I am not sure I can express all the feelings your post gave me. First off, thank you for feeling comfortable to share your experience. No, I don’t think anyone had a clue. And knowing takes nothing from you… it adds another dimension to what it means to accept and love your body. And your experience is one most of us cannot quite imagine, so it’s eye-opening to hear you describe what just day to day is like. I cannot express my appreciation enough for helping the rest of us get a glimpse of life through your eyes.
You are gorgeous and beautiful inside and out and you are 100% Goddess!!!
Goddess Sunday, a place for other women to show off their
inner and outer beauty, live some body positivity and show their true
goddess. If that sounds like you, please submit a post.
I hope you see and read the submissions today to see the kind of
community and content that is going to disappear with your decision.)
Thank you for sharing this.